The dirty old man


Kate’s husband Dave had run off with his secretary two years ago. Not that Kate was really bothered by his betrayal. In her eyes, he was a worthless piece of shit and even that was complementing him. They had met in the spring of ’97 – married by the spring of ’98 – and separated in the millennium year. She had realised she’d made a huge mistake when she’d found out he’d cheated on her the day after their honeymoon.Since then, she’d retreated further and further within herself, moping about with just her TV for company, and her garden for relaxation. Kate loved pottering about her small back yard, watering plants and mowing her lawn, it was her little piece of heaven. Or at least it was, until the arrival of that ‘dirty old man’ next door.He’d moved in just three months ago, when her former neighbour Helen, had got seconded to work in the States.“My Dads coming to house-sit for me Kate. His name is Bill and erm…” Helen was struggling with this conversation, even though she’d rehearsed it many times. Kate could see the discomfort in her neighbour’s face. “Look, I’m going to be straight with you Kate, he can come across as a bit crude at times. I thought I’d warn you. A long career in the Army has pretty much defined him as a man, and not necessarily in a good way. But he’s lovely when you get to know him, really, he is. It’s just, he’s been on his own for so long now, he’s lost any thread of decorum, certainly since mum died, she used to keep him in check. Oh, and he’s not great with strangers either.” Helens face was turning crimson with embarrassment. “Like many men, he opens his mouth before engaging the brain. But other than that, he’s a real sweaty, I promise.” Helen’s pretend laugh wasn’t encouraging for Kate.Kate recalled her neighbour’s words, as she made her friend Paula a cup of coffee. “A bit crude! Wow that was an understatement.”“Sorry, what did you say.”“Oh nothing, just talking to myself.” Kate replied. “Well? Do you know him?”“Look Kate, contrary to what you might think, I don’t actually know every man in this town, and I don’t know this one, and I’m not sure I want to either.Kate laughed, “Well I don’t know why not, you’ve had most of the other guys in this area.”Her friend Paula playfully jabbed Kate in the ribs. “Bitch.”“He’s a soapy looking bugger isn’t he.” Added Paula as she studied Kates neighbour through the dining room window.“Yeh I know, he looks like he needs a damn good wash.”“And a shave too. A bit of stubble is okay on a young guy, but grey stubble on an old man is not very sexy… Does he smell?”“Not they I know of, but I try not to get too close to him.” She replied. “You wouldn’t believe the things he says to me.””What do you mean? Like aggressive?” Paula asked, suddenly looking at her friend,”No, not like that, I think he’s pretty harmless, but really dirty stuff… crude stuff.”“Oh-my-god, you mean dirty, as in sexy! Yuk!… Do you think he fancies you?”“Well I certainly don’t fancy HIM! He’s disgusting, and about twice my age.”“Yeh, I must admit he is a bit ancient looking, but let’s be honest sister you ain’t exactly been getting any action since Dave went, have you? You could do worse; he looks fit for an old guy. I could imagine him swinging through the trees like Tarzan, with you in his arms.”“Oh please, I maybe out of touch but I’m not bloody desperate.”Just as the words left her mouth, her neighbour turned towards them, and the women ducked down below the window frame.“Bloody hell Paula, do you think he saw us?”Paula giggled and replied, “Nah, I don’t think so, but fucking hell Kate, those eyes!”“Yeh I know right. I’ve never seen such blue eyes, and they seem to look right through you don’t they. I find them a bit scary to be honest?”“Yes, I think he’s got x-ray eyes, like the Terminator. Do you think he can see through my clothes? That’d be a bit weird, imagine if he could see my tits through my sweater.”“Paula, I’m not sure the Terminator has x-ray eyes, and let’s be honest, they can see your fucking tits from outer space.” Kate laughed out loud.“Very true. Unlike your’s babe, you’d need a fucking magnifying glass to see your pancakes.”“Bitch”The girls laughed and sneaked Bostancı Escort into the front lounge, away from the prying eyes. “I’ve had enough of looking at Neanderthal man, he gives me the willies”, said Kates friend.Kate on the other hand was rather enjoying looking at her Palaeolithic neighbour.****”Hi Kate,” the old man growled. Seeing Kate over his garden fence, “Has your mate left?””I wasn’t aware we were on a first name terms, Mr. Cox,” Kate snapped, as she raised her watering can to reach the plants in her hanging basket.”Well, I’m just being neighbourly. Like I’ve said before, you can call me Bill, although I admit to liking to way you say Mr. Cox,” he sneered, emphasising the word COX. “That mate of yours, that was here earlier? She’s got a nice pair of knockers. Not that I’ve ever been a tit-man myself, I prefer a nice big ass, like yours.”Kate refused to turn around and face him. Not because she was scared of what her reaction might be towards this insensitive man, but because she didn’t want to show him how flushed she was.”Tell me Mr Cox, what the hell has the size of my ass or my friend’s breasts got to do with you.””Just making small talk, that’s all. If you know what I mean.””I neither know, nor care what you mean Mr Cox,” Kate told him curtly.”Your friend ain’t bad looking, but I think you’re prettier. Less make-up. I don’t like all that make-up. I wonder what she’s hiding under there.”He moved closer to the fence, “Yes, she’s got a big pair, and I reckon she gets lots of male attention with those puppies, but you know what they say? More than a handful is a waste.””God you are so vulgar,” Kate turned quickly towards him, not caring if her red face caused a reaction or not. Her anger overwhelmed her. “Have you no filter, Mr. Cox? Do you talk to all women like this?””Nah, only the ones that turn me on. I have a real thing for redheads like you. Plus, I can tell you want it.””What the Fuck?””Oh, you won’t admit it, not to yourself or anybody else for that matter, but you want it. Been a while since you got laid and you miss it. Plus, I suspect that you never did it with a guy like me before.” Bill smiled at her. “You’re wondering, what it would be like to have a real man that wouldn’t just hump you for a few minutes in the missionary position, before cumming, and falling asleep like your husband used to.””Are you through you fucking wanker!” Shouted Kate, her anger exploding like it had never done before. “My husband was more of a man than you’ll ever be, he would never talk to a woman the way you just spoke to me.” Kate still hadn’t got used to saying ex-husband yet.”Ouch! You’ve got a bit of spirit in you, I like that.” Kates anger grew to boiling point as he continued, “Have you worn a bit of lippy today? I think you have? You’ve opened an extra button on your blouse too. I notice these things you see. Very nice. And no bra today. Are you cold Mrs Connor or just pleased to see me?””How dare you! I think I’ve had enough of this disgusting conversation,””No you haven’t. You love it. Look at your nipples, they are almost ripping holes in your blouse.”Bill watched as Kate stormed into her house, slamming the kitchen door behind her. “Stroppy cow, but sexy as hell though.”***After the door slammed shut behind Kate, she threw the plastic watering can against the wall knocking a glass tumbler off the work service, sending shards across the floor.“Fucking piece of shit! How dare he talk to me like that. He has no right to talk about my body the way he does.” She placed her hands over her breasts trying to hide the swelling of her nipples. The waves of her excitement had exhausted her and delighted her too, but now she felt like crying.She hated the fact that he was right about her longing, and she hated herself even more for wanting him, but the thrill was like a drug and she wanted her fix. She’d never felt this way about any man before, and she hated and fancied him all at the same time.Last night, when she couldn’t sleep, the image of Mr. Cox came into her mind, he wasn’t wearing those tatty old jeans and that disgusting soil stained singlet, but was naked Bostancı Escort Bayan other than a pair of skinny shorts that showed his bulge in full glory, and despite her disgust at his old body, she had put her hands between her legs and fantasized until she came.”Snap out of it, Kate!” She sighed, trying to free her mind. “Paula was right. I do need to get out into the real world,” She looked around at the broken glass on the floor, and it was then that the door slowly creaked open.Kate turned around quickly, and standing in the open doorway was Mr. Cox, his cold blue eyes sending shivers from her stomach to more receptive parts.”What do you want? I’ll scream, I swear, don’t come any closer,””Just came to check and see if you were okay, I thought I heard something smash” He stepped into Kates kitchen and tapped a piece of broken glass across the tiled floor with his boot. “Were you talking to yourself? I do that on occasions. I think it comes from being alone. No fun sometimes, is it? Being alone?”I’m okay, don’t bother yourself about me.” She said, clenching her fists, feeling like her space had been invaded.”You know, the things I say to you? If I really and truly offend you, I apologize. It’s just that when we first started to chat, a couple of months ago, I think I said a couple of cheeky things and you chuckled. Maybe I got the wrong idea.” Kate looked into those eyes and saw some real warmth for the first time. “I think I went too far today. I’m very sorry. I think I was just trying to let you know in my admittedly crude way that somebody thinks you’re very attractive.”Kate unclenched her fists, and a small tear run down her cheek. She turned her face slightly, hoping he wouldn’t see. “Look I’m sorry too, it’s just you aren’t like any other man I’ve even met before. You scare me, and stuff.””Don’t think I haven’t heard that before,” Bill chuckled, “I’ve never been the polished gentleman most women would like, and I guess I was lucky to find a woman who could put up with me for as long as my Tina did. But the things I’ve said about you out there, I erm, look I’m really sorry, okay.””What about the things you said out there?””Well, I, erm, meant every word. I think you’re incredibly sexy, and that’s without you really trying. To think of you shutting yourself up inside here, it’s such a waste. Look, I know you’re a very sensual person, I can sense it, and of course I fancy the hell out of you.” He stumbled over his words, which made Kate feel better. “However, I’m not a moron, I know you’re a hot, red-headed, bit of totty, and I’m an old fart, so the chances of you fancying me are remote, but I just wanted to let you know what I think.””Oh my god” Kate mumbled as her complexion turned red.”No need to be embarrassed, Kate.””I don’t know what to say,””You don’t need to say anything. Look I know because of what your husband did and because of my crude ways that you probably think all men are shits, and you’re probably right. We are as you say, a bunch of wankers. But if you ever feel like popping over to my place one evening for a coffee or something stronger, I’d like to make amends. I promise I’ll be the perfect gentleman. Maybe we can get to know each other better, and then the rest is up to you. I would never tell anyone about us, and I would never hurt you. Just think about it.” Bill turned back to the door. “I think I better say goodbye, maybe I’ve said too much already. Best sweep up those broken bits as quickly as you can though, or you may cut your pretty little feet.”Kate took a while to recover from the conversation, and after sweeping up the broken glass poured herself a large glass of wine. She never normally drank during the day, but since her new neighbour had moved in, she often felt the need.She laughed at the thought of her going next door under the cloak of darkness, maybe with a hood over her head, for a clandestine shag with Mr Cox. Then she tried to imagine him without his clothes. Was he really that hairy? What would his bald head look like between her thighs? Would he be big all over? That night she barely slept.It wasn’t until a week Escort Bostancı of nights later that she found herself crossing through the adjoining back gardens and knocking on Mr Cox’s door.***”Mrs. Connor!” choked the startled man wearing just a pair of boxers and a T shirt. “Come in. Please come in, it’s a cool evening isn’t it. I haven’t seen you for about a week. Are you okay?””Well, Mr. Cox, I think our last conversation took a bit of time for me to digest.” Kate said, as she made a tentative step inside her neighbour’s home. She felt shivery, but she wasn’t cold. In fact, she felt herself blushing after discreetly glancing at the front of Mr Cox’s boxer shorts and remembering her dream.”Just got out of the shower I’m afraid” Mr. Cox explained and then quickly added, “Come in, make yourself comfortable and let me go put on some clothes.”Kate had never seen him so clean and polished. “No Mr. Cox, I can only stay a minute,” she said as she offered him a small Tupperware container of freshly baked muffins “Here, a sort of a peace offering.””I didn’t know we were at war, but I thank you for them. Blueberry if I’m not mistaken,” he said, lifting the corner of the lid and peering inside. I’ll enjoy these.Kate nodded nervously, as she was ushered into the living room.”Would you like a drink?” he offered, and when she asked what he was having, Mr. Cox replied it was a scotch and coke. Kate agreed.“How would you like that? Ice and Lemon?””No, just in a glass,” Kate quipped nervously, and when her neighbour laughed, she started to relax. She looked at him properly for the very first time, she’d only ever seen him in tatty jeans and a vest.He was easily six foot and 220lbs, with grey chest hair protruding above his T shirt. She’d always been a sucker for big biceps and this man had them in spades. The blonde grey hairs on his arms shimmered gold in the lamplight. He was clean and shaven, which surprised her. Other than the fact he was old enough to be her Dad, she liked what she saw. In fact, if her pussy could talk it would have said “Yummy””This visit is a pleasant surprise,” Bill Cox said, as he handed her a generous serving of scotch and coke and motioned her to sit on the sofa.”I’m as surprised as you are,” Kate replied, and made herself comfortable, as she looked around the incredibly neat and tidy living room.Bill watched her eyes, “Tell me the truth. You were probably expecting some sort of hoarders hell with crap everywhere weren’t you.””I don’t know about that,” Kate laughed in between sips. “I do know I wasn’t expecting this though.””Thirsty!” Bill chuckled as he noted her near empty glass.”Nervous as hell is more like it. I guess I can use alcohol as an excuse tomorrow morning if I make a fool of myself tonight.”“I’m nervous too, if it’s any consolation. I don’t get much company. In fact, I must tell you, this is the first time I’ve entertained a woman on my own for many years. I have to say, I’m really impressed that you turned up at all. It took a lot of guts to come over here and see me, someone you hardly know.””Actually, thanks to the Internet you can find out a lot about people you don’t know,” Kate said.“Oh fuck, you youngsters are so savvy, and what nasties did you find out about me?” He looked a little nervous. “I really feel at a disadvantage now. It’s bad enough that I’m about twenty years older than you, without you knowing all my secrets.”“Twenty-nine years older actually.” Kate smiled and took another large gulp of scotch.“Thanks for pointing that out. You’re not helping my insecurities much.” Bill smiled.Kate enjoyed seeing Bill squirm a little, it made a nice change. It was normally her who was feeling uneasy. “You were a soldier in the Army. A Sergeant in the fusiliers. You fought in Bosnia, Iraq and three tours of Afghanistan. You saved people’s lives…You won…”“Slow down, lets drop it okay.” Bill said sharply, interrupting her. “Its history. It was a long time ago. War is a bad thing. I’m not proud of any of it. Let’s talk about something else. Let’s talk about the here and now.”“No, let’s not drop it.” Kate replied, looking him squarely in the face, enjoying being in charge for a change. “In fact, if I hadn’t have read your online page, I probably wouldn’t be here with you right now. “You won the Queens gallantry medal. For fucks sake Bill, do you know how many people have won that medal, I can tell you it’s less than 200. Whether you like it or not, you are actually a hero to some people.”

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