Global Warming


I logged in to my favorite news website, after watching some talk show host on TV yap on and on about emails and scientists and everybody lying about everything.

All for fucking money.

That stuff pissed me off, I could tell for sure it wasn’t warming up very goddamn much outside because it was 18 degrees, and the news said it would be 11 degrees tomorrow night.

I had to leave the water running or sure as hell the pipes would freeze. I could see a big chunk of my paycheck going right down the drain. Fucking Portland anyway, highest damn water bills in the entire fucking nation, hell, this is Oregon!

Water everywhere, it never stops fucking raining.

Bad enough they charge us for it running into the fucking house, they also charge us for it running OUT of the fucking house into the sewer.

From the looks of some of the Sunday morning dumps I send down there the thieving bastards need that goddamn water to dilute it a bit before they let it slide straight into the river.

Assholes should be paying me.

They charge us for rain into the sewer, too. It’s a fucking PIPE, how goddamn much should it cost to run crap and water down a fucking PIPE?

Goddamn near can’t afford to take a shit!

Thieving bastards. Tax, tax, tax, that is all government can ever think of, then after reading about those damn scientists lying through their teeth to force us to use electricity instead of burning firewood?

Sea levels rising! They scream that as loud as they can, can’t fool me. Hell, I was just down to the coast less than three weeks ago, the fucking ocean is in the exact same goddamn place it has always been.

I didn’t catch any fish, either, that pissed me off too.

Lately everything seemed to piss me off.

I went in and flushed the toilet, nothing. Just fuck! Outside I went to where the little plastic pipe goes up and into the house, I knew the sink was still running so it had to be the line headed for the bathroom. Way back in there I found another foot long section going up into the house. I used my hair dryer on it, in a few minutes I heard a trickle, then it started to fill.

I went back inside and stuffed more wood into the stove, some asshole on TV was talking about the EPA regulating greenhouse gasses.

Just fuck them, I thought. Here is some MORE goddamn carbon dioxide for them!

If they don’t like it, they can hold their fucking BREATH! That’s the real problem anyway, stupid bastards keep exhaling.

Especially that big mouthed Al Gore asshole.

That is when I pulled up the website. There was a big front page story with pictures of some people rowing boats, the headlines screaming about rising sea levels.

Yea, sure. Some people in boats in a fucking swamp, that’s proof, no doubt about it.

Hell, they have been using boats in that fucking swamp for thousands of years. There was another picture of a polar bear sitting on an ice cube, sad look on it’s fucking face.

Hell, it’s a goddamn fucking POLAR BEAR, of course it is out there, it is hungry and wants to catch a seal.

Ain’t any goddamn seals up in the mountains, where in the hell do they expect the fucking Polar Bear to be?

I turned off the computer, plopped down in my chair. I clicked the channel to a different one, some cops were chasing an idiot around all over the place, knocking over mailboxes and signs.

They looked like they were having fun. Then my phone rang.

“Yea?” I said.

“Danny? Can you help me? I don’t have any water.” I recognized Marilee’s voice instantly.

Marilee had the house next door, all last Summer she was out in her back yard wearing this tiny thing pretending to be a swim suit. I spent every moment I was at home peeking out the window at her. She was rubbing oil on those brown titties, then down her belly her fingers would go, right up to the edge of that little wedge of cloth.

Lord almighty did that woman have a body on her! I had used my 40 power field glasses to check, I knew every single square inch of her in detail except for the two square inches of her that suit covered up.

She did have a wisp of pubic hair, I know, I saw that, just some glimpses as she adjusted her suit.

The windowsill in my upstairs bedroom was covered with so much of my seed I was going to have to use a putty knife before I could repaint it.

But Marilee had a boyfriend, of course. The guy was at least six feet tall and just about that wide, bunch of tattoos on his arms, even one on his hairy back. Fucking arms looked like trash cans, he had to spend hours in the gym because he rippled from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet with muscle.

Sam, his name was. I met him once over the fence, he shook my hand with a paw that felt as big as a catcher’s mitt, damn near crushed my hand.

Fucking ponytail too, talk about top off the picture.

Then he always wore this tiny little black thong when he was out in the yard, it had an honest to god string going up between his butt cheeks.

Fucking atakent escort muscles back there, too. How in the hell does a guy get muscles on his ass, anyway?

That was enough of a sight to make me lose my woody even if Marilee was out there in her little suit, let me tell you.

Plus his suit had a little pouch on the front, I say little because his entire bulge was about the size of a tangerine.

I got myself some giggles at home about that. His dick couldn’t be much bigger than a tootsie roll.

Tootsie roll Sam I called him privately. If I saw him I smiled and waved.

He was kinda big.

Lucky bastard. Getting to fuck Marilee. I guess he was, anyway, he spent a lot of time fiddling with her.

Once I was peeking out the window and Sam was tickling and licking at Marilee, she was squirming around, he actually got her right tit completely out of her top before she shoved his hands away and pulled it back up.

I coated my windowsill with another layer at that one. Couple of times, actually.

Now here she was, talking to me on the phone.

Hell, we had said maybe a dozen words to each other up to then, although she did give me a big bright smile every time she saw me.

“Where’s Toots…I mean Sam?” I asked her.

“Sam and I broke up, I caught him with Janet so I kicked him out. I need to take a shower so I can go to work and I don’t have any water? Please?”

I wondered for about one second who in the hell Janet was? That would need to be one hell of a hunk of female to top Marilee.

I damn near tore the door off the hinges on my way out, I hit the fence and went right over the top of it. I had my hand in the air to knock when the door opened. Marilee stood there in a fuzzy blue robe. No makeup, her hair was all scattered around looking like she had just slept on it.

She was gorgeous!

“Oh, Danny! Thank you!” She tugged me inside and hugged me, kicking the door shut with one bare foot.

Damn near came in my pants, I knew instantly there was nothing but Marilee under that robe.

“What do you need?” I asked, my brain completely unhooked for a few seconds.

“There is no water.” She looked at me oddly.

Oh. Right. No water. I went and turned the handle in the kitchen sink, nothing. I went in and tripped the handle in the toilet, nothing.

Well. She did say there wasn’t any.

Glancing down, I saw a big well formed turd sitting there, just a dab of water in the bowl. I looked at that stupidly, realizing that came right out of this absolutely beautiful creature.

Hell, I almost wanted to pick it up, fondle it.

Then it hit me what had just popped into my head.

Something fucking wrong with me, I thought.

“Did you figure it out?” I heard her say. She was standing in the doorway. I turned bright red, she had caught me staring at her turd.

“I…uhhh….pipe outside must be frozen, I will go outside and try to thaw it. Maybe if we heat some wat….shit! water…..say, do you have a hair dryer?”

“Sure.” Of course she had a hair dryer, she had hair. Such beautiful long dark beautiful hair, it came down almost to her beautiful shoulders, so soft and silky looking. I wanted to reach out and touch….

“Excuse me?” She reached out and gently pushed me back so she could reach the drawer. She bent over and picked up a huge hair blower, her robe slipped open and one perfect breast came completely into view for a moment.

She stood up, handed me the tool. I took it, she smiled sweetly at me.

Damn hair dryer was bigger than my nail gun.

“Will this work?”

“Uhh..yea. I will go get my extension cord.”

“I have one.” She stepped around me, brushing against me this time. I felt her boob slide past my arm, it was so soft, so very soft. I would have moved but my legs didn’t work. She opened a cabinet, picked up a coil of extension cord. Her breast appeared again as her robe gapped open the second time.

Another sweet smile as she handed it to me. Two feet away, Marilee was just two feet away. Naked under her robe, I wanted to…

“Danny? Are you OK?” She asked, that smile still on her face.

“Uhh…yea. I will go look.”

I managed to get the cord plugged in, strung it out the window. I found the problem quickly, there was a foot long section of plastic water line running up into the house, just like mine. All the houses on our block looked about the same, every other one was reversed though.

There was a shutoff lever on the water line, I tried to turn the handle and it wouldn’t move. Looking around, I saw the crawl space vents were uncovered, and the water line was only a foot away from the opening.

I went to work, it took quite awhile. I was shivering with cold, I had left my house so fast I hadn’t even grabbed a coat. All I had on was my blue jeans, socks, shoes, and a shirt.

Finally I felt the lever give slightly, and heard a tiny little gurgle of water. It grew louder, the handle worked freely ataköy escort now. I moved it open and closed several times. I checked for leaks, there didn’t seem to be any.

“I hear water running!” Marilee called out from inside. I found the crawl space cover and put it in place, installed the vent covers and managed to slide out of there and get up. I couldn’t feel my feet, or my hands, and I was shivering uncontrollably.

I picked up the cord and the dryer and went back inside. I checked the kitchen first, then the bathroom, Marilee had mercifully flushed the toilet, it was refilling again.

“Hey, would you like some coffee, I have some, I had it set on automatic from last night.” I heard her call out from the kitchen.

“Sure, that sounds good, I am freezing.”

She walked out with two cups, took one look at me still trembling. She had on a huge white T-shirt now, one glance told me it had probably belonged to the goon she was with before. The neckline on the thing came way down leaving the tops of her breasts bare, the bottom of it was halfway down her ankles.

“Oh, you poor dear!” She said, handing me the cup. I sat down in one of her chairs. She stepped behind me, began briskly rubbing my shoulders and arms, lord did that feel good.

“Forgot to grab a coat.” I muttered.

“Here, I will warm you up!” She went around and sat down on the floor, hiked up the T-shirt to the middle of her thighs, crossed her legs and peeled off my shoes and socks. Then she started rubbing my feet.

White panties. Plain white panties. Just sitting there, her knees apart, letting me look at her white panties. My head began to almost spin, she was rubbing my feet.

White panties!! I got a boner that felt like it was going to snap right in half, hung up on my pants. I needed desperately to reach down and adjust it, give it some room.

But Marilee was sitting right in front of me..with the crotch of her white panties on display. I couldn’t just reach down and…

My dick was starting to hurt.

I reached down, gave myself a tug, my cock came loose and turned upright.

“Oh! I am sorry, I didn’t mean to…” She saw the motion, glanced up at the expression on my face, then she looked down at my crotch again and giggled.


I just plain reached for her, she didn’t hit me or anything, just gave me a sly smile and leaned forward as I leaned way down to kiss her. I couldn’t quite reach her properly and slid off the edge of the chair right on top of her.

I reached out to catch myself and got a handful of tit. Somehow I managed to slide over to the side of her, but I never let go.

Just like that we were kissing, and she sure as hell wasn’t doing any resisting. It only took me maybe two seconds to get my hand under her T-shirt, those things were so damn nice and soft that I lost track of where I even was. Now she was letting out some soft little moans.

That encouraged the hell out of me, to be honest.

I ran my hand up and down her side, the skin felt as soft as warm butter, when my hand got to her hip I felt the side of her pantie. I hooked my thumb in it, she just kept right on kissing me.

I started tugging at that white pantie, she lifted her ass to help me, first one side, then the other.

Down her legs they went, then she rolled over on her back. Her legs came right open, there was that wisp of pubic hair I had gotten a glimpse or two of during the Summer. She had her lips shaved, they appeared to be swollen.

I had one hand down there instantly.

That part of her was every bit as pretty as the rest of her, I slid down and buried my face in it. There was a tiny little tuft of hair just above her button that curled out and upwards, the rest was just a thin strip.

“I haven’t had a shower yet.” She muttered, making a half hearted attempt to push me back, but by then I was lightly flicking her button upwards with the tip of my tongue.

She relaxed in just a few seconds and let out a little squeal.

Her legs opened even wider.

Delicious! Wonderful! Her lips were soft, rubbery, I could feel them swelling up as I worked at them. She held my hair securely in both hands, almost like she was steering me.

When she exploded it was just that, an explosion. Her hips bounced up and down so hard I thought for a moment I might have chipped a tooth.

I was tugging at my jeans, I managed to get them down to my knees, I gave up trying to drag them the rest of the way off.

Still had my face buried in that sweet snatch is why, I couldn’t reach my pants legs and no way in hell did I want to stop to take them off the rest of the way.

I slid upward, pressing at her, just as she reached down.

Her tiny little hand wrapped around me, I felt her stiffen.

“Oh, my God! Oh no!! No, I can’t! It won’t…”

“Relax, it’s OK.” I told her.

“No! It’s too big, it won’t fit! It’s HUGE!! It will HURT!!” She had a death grip on my dick now, trying to steer it sideways atalar escort away from her. Her legs reached out and pushed, she scooted on her butt back a foot or so.

She didn’t let go of my dick, though.

Hell, I ain’t that damned big, I thought. She should be able to…

Oh, right.

Tootsie roll Sam.

I leaned back down before she could tear it off and went right back to licking her, one hand busy with her titties. We were kind of twisted at an awkward angle, she still had a death grip on my cock.

Quickly she began to relax again, her hips bounced up and down some more. Then off she went a second time, another wild explosion. She let go of my hair and reached for my shoulders.

I slid back up into position again, she took a deep breath as the very tip end of my cock slid inside. Her eyes went wide.

“Oh my God!” Then she let out a heavy grunt, I felt her body tighten up. That forced the end of my dick right back out. Reaching down, I wiped the end of it on her some to slick things up, tried again.

I saw her face screw up tight as I got the end of it inside her, so I stopped for a few seconds. She let her breath out, took another gasp just as I pushed again. Her hands came down and grabbed my bare ass. I felt myself slide in a bit more.

“Ughh!” She grunted. I pushed, she grunted, I pushed again. Her feet were flat on the floor and every time she lifted her hips she moved about six inches. I had to adjust each time, my damn pants were keeping my ankles tied up, I was having one hell of a time trying to get some traction.

Then something happened, it was like she just opened up and I was all the way in, my pubic mound bounced against hers.

“Ughh!” She grunted again.


I stopped again, she took a deep breath. Her hips moved upwards slightly, I moved to meet her, feeling myself slide inside her. Her hips went back, came up against me more forcefully.

Then we were thrashing at each other, total mayhem. Somehow we were scooting across the floor, too. I felt my head bump the other wall, we bounced all the way across her living room carpet.

I pushed her upper body sideways a bit, started in again as we headed right on down the hallway.

That went on for a good ten minutes, we damn near made it all the way to the bedroom. She had almost thrown me at the 8 second mark, but I managed to stay on board. I was thinking I needed a rope to hang on to, maybe some spurs? I came twice without losing my hard on. It was obvious she had no idea at all where she was, all she knew was what was happening to her.

“So…damn..big!” She muttered once, the only part she said that I actually understood.

Guess she really was used to tootsie roll Sam.

Finally I felt myself fade, I didn’t want to but it did that all by itself. I slid out of her, tried to just hold her but she instantly rolled over on her tummy, grabbed me with both hands.

She still had on that giant T-shirt.

“Wow! I had no idea, I thought that men were…” Her hands instinctively started sliding up and down. Hell, I am not huge, maybe 9 inches if something happens to really get me going.

Of course pussy always gets me going, and fine stuff like this was amazing! Kathy, the gal I had been seeing was fun but she had funny looking lumps on her butt and the back of her legs and her tits drooped, Marilee didn’t have a mark on her that I had found so far.

Her boobs didn’t droop at all.

She lay there on her tummy with her heels crossed in the air, both hands wrapped around me like she just got a new toy for Christmas, and in short order I started to grow again.

“Oh look, it’s getting bigger!” she exclaimed, like she had never seen that before.

“You act like you have never seen one of those before.” I laughed.

“Oh, sure, lots of times. Well, Sam anyway and in some pictures but I thought those were all faked. Wow, I guess maybe not!” She never took her eyes off of it, and never stopped stroking. I was beginning to fight a battle to keep from going off a third time.

“Marilee, you better….” I tried to warn her.

“Do it, I want to see it!” She tightened her grip and went even faster, her face now just inches from me.

“Damn, I…” Was as far as I got,I blasted off, the first gob hit her right between the eyes, the next one stuck to her nose, then started to slide down. I had one tiny little drip left, she slid her fingers across the end of my cock and rubbed it between them.

“Wow!” She said. She hopped up and headed for the bathroom, stopping at the doorway to look back. She reached down and yanked the T-shirt over her head, dropped it on the floor.

“Coming?” She grinned. I was on my feet in just a second, following her in there.

She already had the water running, her arm stuck in past the sliding door to feel the temperature. Satisfied, she slid the door back, held it for me.

It was a nice big shower, there was room for two. We soaped each other up, her hands were all over my cock again, she seemed to be fascinated with it.

I willed it to get hard again but it was putting up some resistance. She reached down with one hand and cupped my balls.

“Damn you are big! I thought at first that no way would we ever….” Then she started to giggle.

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