The Restorative Man



Todd Hamilton was one of those unruly-haired guys in dirty T-shirt and jeans that appeared salvaged from a trash bin.

Todd’s father Bert owned and operated Hamilton Lawn Care Services and except in emergencies his son didn’t mow but Tom sat in the office early evenings and arranged rosters, mowing schedules and sent out accounts and receipted payments and prepared the accounts for his dad’s accountant. On Saturday afternoons and Sundays he stripped down mowers due for routine servicing and attended to mowers requiring urgent attention.

His mom Heather occasionally complained to Bert their son ought to be out at weekends attempting to lay girls his age to discover the real purpose of life and Bert’s would wearily reply, “What’s wrong with you woman? Todd has Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights to chase a bit of ass.”

An argument would follow but Todd wouldn’t hear it because he’d either be studying or out chasing ass.

Unfortunately Todd found himself in the hands of young and often untried women who stopped at a kiss or if it went beyond that would be all ham-fisted and scared he’d pee on them or would want to touch their pee-hole.

It was very sad really, a legacy of the inadequacy of mothers (and perhaps fathers) to prepare their post-18-year-olds for an early life of debauchery.

Fortunately for Todd, his mother’s younger sister came to stay after being dumped by her live-in boyfriend of four years, three weeks and eleven days.

“Todd dear your aunt Ruth is coming to stay for a wee while,” Heather said, in her friendliest voice. “If you aunt wanders around the house with few or no clothes on I don’t wish you to loose restraint. Do you understand?”


“Oh Jesus. I’ll get your father to talk to you.”

Bert did talk to Todd but no mention was made of Aunt Ruth and Todd didn’t think it was his duty to berate his father for dereliction of duty.

Aunt Ruth arrived, the two sisters went into a huddle so Bert said, “Come on son, and let’s get out of here. The drinks at the bar are on me.”

After a few drinks Bert began recalling all the women he’d shafted in his younger days. There were busloads of them.

“How did you find time to fuck and woo mom?”

“Don’t be impertinent,” said his father. “You buy the next drinks.”

On Friday night the 23-year-old blond tried to instruct his date how to suck cock but in her anxiety to please him she bit deep, almost drawing blood. Terrified of losing his dick he slapped her and she ran off into the darkness crying and he didn’t see her for another three weeks.

Todd went home frustrated but relieved his appendage appeared to be soundly attached. His mom and dad were out at the annual dinner of the Flower and Vegetable Society and Aunt Ruth had been left at home to watch TV. But she couldn’t find any drama apart from males murdering their partners or women running around like headless chickens because their guy was dunking some other woman.

The house was in darkness when Todd entered. He went to his aunt’s room and whispered, “Aunt Ruth” with the intent of offering her coffee. The untidy bitch had strewn her clothes on the floor and in the partial illumination from the hallway light Todd saw her panties. He picked them up and sniffed the crotch and checking that his aunt, who was facing him, was asleep he unzipped and wrapped the soft garment round his now erect member, gave it a couple of tugs and groaned, being unaware his aunt’s eyes had opened. Actually they’d popped open and now appeared to be on stalks.

Todd padded off hugely frustrated, knowing he’d have to whack off in bed. When he arrived back from the bathroom he found Aunt Ruth in his bed with her heavy hangers spread over the top of the sheet.

“Aunt Ruth.”

“Hi Todd.”

Todd stood immobilized and so his aunt had to make the call.

“Come to bed darling and I’ll suck that big piece of meat for you. It appears to be screaming for relief.”

Todd scuttled into bed, his guilty grin stiffer than his dick.

Aunt Ruth was old, thirty-seven, but he couldn’t afford to be choosy because here was a woman who actually wanted to suck his dick. But he figured the fool of a woman didn’t know what she was doing. She lifted it up and examined it closely and then dribbled on to it and ran her tongue up and down it several times and then took one of his hairy balls in her mouth and rolled it, scaring the crap out of him initially, but he survived intact. The silly cow then attempted to push her tongue down his pee-hole.

Then at long last, with Todd feeling as if she had him climbing up the wall, she sighed and said it had been years since she’d had enough cock to really fill her mouth, and began gobbling him.

Todd had to fight from blowing, seizing that foul memory of when he was licking Dora McLean’s ass and she farted right in his face. The recall of that disgusting misadventure eased him through his current crisis but that produced a new problem because Aunt Ruth had one hell of a time to get him away.

She sat up grinning Travesti triumphantly, dripping semen from her nose and mouth when Todd’s mom walked in and screamed, “What the hell is going on here! You filthy bitch, go to your room. Todd Hamilton, I’m sending your father in to attend to you.”

Todd heard his mom yelling at his father and then yelling at her sister. Bert entered the room grinning, and closed the door.

“I’m supposed to whack you a couple of times and then lecture you.”

Todd braced himself.

His dad clapped his hands together twice and shouted, “Take this and take that you slut.”

In silence they heard footsteps retreating from outside the door.

“Thanks dad.”

“She has great tits?”

“Who mom.”

“Your aunt you fool. Tell me did she take your dick up her butt?”

“What?” Todd squawked, looking ready to vomit.

“Jesus hasn’t your mother told you anything about sex?”



However had dad didn’t elaborate but he did say he’d get Mrs Trotter to talk to him.

Todd kept his mouth shut. It was common knowledge that men in the street including his father fucked Widow Trotter and she charged them for service. A couple of Todd’s pals said their father had sent them to Mrs Trotter to take their virginity but so much had happened neither of them had clear memories of the visit to relate to Todd. Either that or they were so ashamed of going to a harlot for their first fuck.

Aunt Ruth stayed after promising not to touch Todd again and some nights she joined his parents in bed.

A few days after Aunt Ruth was caught blowing Todd Mrs Trotter called him and said to come over.

“I’m having dinner.”

“Well don’t bother then.”

“Oh I suppose I can visit you now.”

“Christ don’t allow excitement to grip you Todd.”

Todd stood on the front porch and knocked, knowing all along the street neighbors would be peering out of windows to record the shame of young Todd Hamilton.

“Come in Todd,” smiled the middle-aged woman in a silk robe. “Your father wants me to teach you about some of the ins and outs of sex.”

She laughed and Todd wondered what was funny.

“The ins and outs of sex,” she said angrily. “I just made a joke.”

Todd managed a weak laughed wondering what she was on about and that laugh seemed to satisfy her.

She removed her robe and tossed it over his head and asked could he smell pussy?

Todd smelt talc and what appeared to be a cesspit odor so said yes Mrs Trotter.

“Have you fucked women?”

He nodded.

“How old were they?”

He colored and mutter, “Eighteen or at least claimed they were.”

“Oh crap, you poor kid. You have only played with dolls. You haven’t had a real cunt wrapped round your dick have you?”

Todd felt his face turn red whereas Mrs Trotter considered the color was purple and she told him to undress.

“Well at least you are hung like a man. Why isn’t it up at the sight of my body?”

Todd shuffled and said, “Dunno.”

“Is it because I terrify you?”

“I’m missing dinner.”

“Jesus,” she said painfully.

Mrs Trotter helped him get it erect and then dropped on to the floor on her hands and knees and told Todd to fuck her. Although she was skinny, her ‘box’ looked cavernous to Todd and that proved to be the case. He couldn’t feel more than two of the four sides at any one time, forgetting a circle only has an inside and an outside. But she urged him on with filthy language. He pulled out and blew up along her back and into her hair but she didn’t growl at him.

“Right now give my some satisfaction Todd. Finger my pussy.”

‘Fingering’ was a misnomer. What Mrs Trotter wanted was to be fisted. Most of Todd’s babes to date began complaining if more than one finger was used and it was true some of them were really tight. Mrs Trotter handed him a glove and lubed it and Todd, although disgusted, was fascinated to watch his hand disappear up Mrs Trotter but expected this encounter would put him off sex for life.

She later said, “Forget it” when offering him anal and than seeing his expression.

Todd swaggered away from the house in an effort to impress watching neighbors. When Mrs Trotter had said his hour was up he offered her ten bucks but she declined and kissed the top of his head and said his dad had taking care of it.

Lucy Anvil came on to the front porch of her parent’s house. Lucy was at college with Todd and until now had always been reserved with him.


He leaned over the paling fence and she came up to him.

“What was she like?”


“Mrs Trotter you fool.”

Todd thought why should he tell this cold-ass bitch anything.

“Sorry but I don’t talk about my conquests.”

“I scarcely believe Mrs Trotter poses as a conquest.”

“Believe what you like. My lips are sealed.”

Lucy burst into tears and said Murray Jack had ditched her for Mrs Cohen, their taxation instructor.

“Lucy stop blubbering. You have a great face and great tits. Stop Antalya Travesti being so aloof and you’ll have guys lining up to date you.”

“You really think so?”

“Sure I’ll pass the word round that you are available.”

“Oh Todd, how wonderful. How can I reward you?”

Todd licked his lips.

“No Todd, not until you’ve had a shower after being with that awful woman. Look mom and dad are out tomorrow night. Come at 6:00 for dinner. I need to be fucked.”

That encounter was a useful lesson for Todd who until then always struggled to get dates and had to struggle even harder to be allowed to pull down panties. Thereafter he would focus on female students whom he knew had just ended a sexual relationship that left them dispirited and possibly fearing they’d never have sex again. It meant critics would say he was only associating with rejected babes but so what? It would be rare indeed for any guy teaming up with a babe over twenty finding she wasn’t pre-used.

It was Heather’s bridge night and Todd entered the kitchen to find Aunt Ruth sprawled on her front over the kitchen table and his bare-ass father shafting her.

“Want to take over from me son,” panted his father. “I’m tiring.”

“Nah Aunt Ruth promised mom not to touch me.”

“Asshole,” said Aunt Ruth as Todd walked by and patted her cheek.

“Come on Bert, pick up your stroke rate,” she commanded.

The next evening Todd called at the Anvil’s home, clutching a bunch of daisies. He knocked and heard Lucy call faintly, “Come in Todd, I’m in the bath.”

He went to the kitchen and put the flowers in a milk jug and waited nervously.

“Where are you Todd?”


“Come into my parent’s bathroom and climb in with me.”

He had his shirt unbuttoned and his belt undone by the time he got to the bathroom, following the sound of Lucy’s tuneless humming.

She cupped her tits and eyed him.

“They’re a great pair.”

“Thanks, now let me see what you’ve got. I want to wash you before allowing your cock near me.”

Todd removed his shirt, got his pants off and pulled down his briefs.

“Good god,” Lucy boggled. “Is that thing trained?”

“Well enough to get through that bush I hope. God at least you should clip it.”

“It’s more hygienic to leave it natural.”

“Bullshit. The hair catches dust, smells of urine and hair will be stuck together in places with old cum.”

“God you are so basic Todd.”

“You’d be clever to heed my advice. Guys of my generation prefer a woman hairless from the neck down. I do women the courtesy of shaving my cock and balls.”

“What about your ass?”

“Are you interested in butt hole licking?”

“I might by the time I’m thirty.”

“Then why bring it up?”

She said no she didn’t and claimed he did.

Todd sighed, having learned a little of the lying and evasive ways of females. He climbed into the bath and was told to move carefully and not splash her.

Lucy sat on her heels and ordered him to kneel and she washed him.

“God I’ve never had one this big.”

“Try going out with men.”

She giggled and he thought at least that was something.

Lucy maneuvered on to her hands and knees facing away from him.

“Okay try me out but don’t hurt me.”

“I’ll need to excite your pussy first to get it lubing naturally and to indicate to your brain your are about to be dicked.”

“My brain already knows.”

“Not through sensory signaling it doesn’t.”

Lucy was impressed or at least Todd was sure she wasn’t teasing. “Gee are you studying for a master’s in fucking? If you’re not it sounds as if you should be.”

Todd worked her up slowly and when he noticed her pussy lips were swollen he went in with his mouth and munched her.

“Omigod,” Lucy yelled.

When she was writhing and panting he wet his dick with pussy juice and slowly inserted.



Eight okay queries later he told her it was all in.

“I’m too scared to move,” she gulped.

Todd laughed and began thrusting but on the fifth forward thrust she yelled she was coming and did, copiously.

Lucy said when preparing to serve dinner while he sipped a beer. “I’m sorry Todd but I think once is enough for me. You would be better off fucking my mother.”

“Will you ask her if she’s interested please?”

“Todd don’t be so foul. I was speaking figuratively, that you might find older women have larger vaginas than I have.”

Todd just grunted, preferring not to say she was talking shit.

“Talk to me Todd.”

“You are perfectly normal and I think for your build you have an adequately sized cunt. You are just a little up tight about it. Try to be more relaxed when you are fucking.”

“I’ll give you fellatio after dinner Todd but you can forget about ever fucking me again. I feel as if a bus has driven up inside me.”

“I told you to relax. Your cunt will relax before you do and will expect a quick repeat of another dick to visit.”

“Oh god, you are so basic.”

Todd Bursa Travesti walked home feeling unplugged. Lucy had proved to be a great cocksucker. She was pleased that he was so generous with his praise and said well perhaps she could ask her mom to phone Todd Hamilton if she were interested in being fucked by a big dick but Todd said, as kindly as he could, not to bother. He would spread the word that Lucy was available to be fucked on a regular basis but the guy’s dick must be thin and under five and a half inches.

Lucy was ever so pleased and had squeezed his dick as she kissed him good night.

He decided to hit back on behalf of Lucy, Two days later he arrived early for Mrs Cohen’s lecturer on tax law and placed an envelope on the lectern she’d use.

The room was filling up when Mrs Cohen arrived and Lucy was sitting beside Todd. She was chatting to the female beside her when Todd watched Mrs Cohen open the envelope and look round wild-eyed for the culprit. But the time her gaze swept along the row in which Todd was sitting he was busy picking his nose.

Mrs Cohen dropped her folder scattering paper and she yelled “Oh fuck.”

Everyone stopped talking to laugh but no one went to her assistance because people who lecture about taxation are even more unpopular than IRS inspectors. Todd saw Mrs Cohen stuff his note into the back pocket of her jeans.

The note read: ‘Are you aware the bi student you are fucking has a particularly virulent STD? A Friend.’

Usually Mrs Cohen presented well but on this occasion when it ended people around Todd were saying it had been her worst lecture of the year so far.

“May I take you to coffee King Dick?” Lucy smiled as they were leaving.

Over coffee Todd told her about the note and she fell off her stool she was laughing so much. They became good friends from that day.

Three days later Todd made an appointment to see one of his trainers. The appointments clerk advised her only gap that day was 5:15. He was told if he showed up late in all probability Mrs Cohen would simply go because it was the last appointment slot of the day.

Todd delayed his arrival till 5:25 and found the office locked. He called Mrs Cohen.

“Oh the Hamilton guy. You were told 5:15 sharp. You were a no-show when I left at 5:20 so tough.”

“Aw Mrs Cohen, I mean Ruby. I may call you that now you have left the grounds of this institution can’t I?”

“I guess so but for what purpose escapes me.”

“Where are you?”

She snorted and said he had a nerve. She relented and said she was walking to a nearby bar.

“Give me the name of the bar and I’ll consult you there and buy you’re a couple of drinks.”

“Why are you pressing me so hard?”

Bingo. Time to swoop.

“Because you are so damn attractive Ruby.”

Todd could hear her breathing, obviously framing a response.

“Oh god I ought not have said that. What I should have said I have struck a problem over tax avoidance in my assignment to create a home business operation to highlight at least eight taxation issues the business operator faces when claiming tax deductions when using a dedicated home office in the course of running his business operation not at a fixed business address.”

“The law and explanatory notes are explicit. Read them and work it out yourself.”

“Ruby I have attempted to be innovative. The guy’s home is actually a houseboat and is registered with the IRS as his home address. He’s in a gay relationship and has lived with this guy for seven and a half years. The partner is so grateful at being housed so magnificently that for the past two years he’s been paying the interest on the houseboat mortgage which the businessman’s accountant has continued claiming the previously justified portion as a tax deduction… can you see the hole I’ve dug for myself?”

“Yes I can. You have created a problem for yourself in being overly creative but I find the situation you have outlined very interesting. In fact it’s quite mind-blowing for any conservative accountant to ponder. May I ask what you find attractive about me?”

“Aw Ruby don’t turn the screws. I apologized for stupidly mentioning that.”

“I have no recall of you calling yourself stupid or indeed apologizing for making such a personal comment.”

Todd smiled knowing he had this situation under control “Are you mad at me?”

“Answer the question please.”

“Okay you have some cute gestures like twigging your left ear and you often wrinkle you nose as if student BO is becoming oppressive and when you set us difficult reading passages to study your smile is downright cynical and you occasional rub under your left tit, er your left breast.”

“And you find those things attractive? I find that difficult to believe Todd.”

“You don’t appear to welcome personal comment so I couldn’t mention my thoughts about your body.”

“Todd you are on thin ice.”

“And my secret desires about your body.”

Todd heard her exhale hugely.

“I apologize for wasting your time Mrs Cohen. Goodbye.”

She said calmly, “I’m just walking into Yogi’s bar. Don’t keep me waiting too long Todd.”

Todd walked with long strides but not too hastily. He didn’t want Mrs Cohen to be touching a sweaty body if they were to get cracking that night.

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