Debra finds out how ‘slutty’ she can really be


My name is Debra. A couple of weeks ago I was looking for a gift to get my husband, Alan, for his birthday. Alan would be turning 30, and I wanted to get him something special. Alan had mentioned all he really wanted was me. I decided if I was to be Alan’s present, I should be properly “gift wrapped”. I called a friend of Alan’s named Steve. Steve and Alan had been friends since they were kids. Steve owned an Adult Book and Accessory store just on the outskirts of town. I inquired about closing time, and made arrangements to stop by around closing so I could try on some of store’s more popular attire. Throughout my marriage to Alan, I had always wanted to be a “little sex pot” for him, but couldn’t seem to break the ice within myself. I hoped dressing slutty would cause me to act sluttier.
I arrived at the Adult Book store, and Steve extinguished the neon “open” sign displayed outside the shop. I had always felt comfortable around Steve. He never made any advances towards me in the many years I had known him. I was also impressed by his outstanding manners. I had expected him to become a bit crude after purchasing the porno shop. Being around sex all day, I marvelled at his ability to separate his work from his life. Feeling so safe with Steve, I figured I could try on the clothes and things and rely on his opinions.
Steve was friendliness itself. When I had spoken to him to set up the appointment I had been somewhat vague, but he had still agreed. He locked the door and led me out back.
“Now then, what is it that you want?”
I explained about how I wanted some clothes for me so that I appeared ‘sluttier’, which might mean that I behaved ‘sluttier’. He seemed a bit surprised but said he had several lines which I might like to try. He told me to go into his office and he would parse them round to me. He explained that he did not have changing rooms, people normally bought the stuff and took it home.
Well I went into the office and waited. He handed some stuff round the door to me and left me to it, saying he would wait in the main showroom.
I examined what he had given me. It was a nurses uniform, but also a bra and brief set, and believe me they were brief. It was only then that I realised that to look good I had to use their undies too. I thought I was so silly not to have thought of it before.
I stripped off and tried on the bra and panties. They were a revelation in themselves. The panties were cut very high at the side so they had virtually no sides at all, and those sides were held together with Velcro! The bra was more conventional in that it had shoestring straps, and a narrow back held with clips. I had not realised how small it was till I had got it on. I mean I have got quite big breasts but with this bra it just held them up, and did not even cover my nipples. I stood looking at myself in the mirror, and I felt quite wicked just in this. Then I put on the nurses uniform. It was conventional enough, with buttons right up the front. The skirt was quite short but nothing special. When I put it on though it was very tight, especially round the bust area.
When I was dressed I went through into the main shop. Steve was waiting for me. I gave him a twirl.
“What do you think of it?”
“Very nice,”
“It does seem a bit tight?”
“It is supposed to be. Anyway, you are not wearing it quite right. After all you are supposed to be a sexy nurse. May I help? It will be a bit personal though?”
I told him that I would be pleased for any help he could give. Accordingly I stood there as he came up to me. He stood in front of me and undid the top three buttons of my uniform. Then pulled the collar open so it gaped revealing quite a lot of breast.
“There,” he said. “that is how you are supposed to wear it.”
I looked in a full length mirror. It certainly made a difference. I must admit I felt sexy wearing it. I noticed that I could even see where my nipples were erect. I blushed, but looking at Steve he did not appear to be looking.
“Do you think Alan would like a sexy nurse?”
“Be a damn fool if he didn’t. How do you fancy trying a French maid? They are always popular with the men and the women.”
He handed me a French maid’s uniform. I went to go out of the shop.
“Look this is going to take all night if you keep going to the office, couldn’t you just change here? I mean you are wearing the undies aren’t you?”
I felt a hot flush rush through me. Yes I was wearing the undies, but there was not a lot of them to cover me. But I was astonished to find myself getting wet down below at the thought of standing in front of Steve wearing so little. I pretended to think for a moment, but I had already made up my mind.
I stripped to my bra and panties, as requested by Steve. Standing in front of Steve in my undies was actually getting me turned on. It was the newness of the whole thing that caused it, and not a sexual desire for him.
Soon I had on the French maid’s uniform. When Steve had helped me adjust it I could see why it was popular. The skirt was much shorter and the top much lower, so it showed quite a bit more of my body. My nipples were erect again too, or had they ever gone down. I wasn’t sure. It seemed even more daring than before. What could be next?
“What’s next?”
“Depends on what you really want to be, slutty or whore”
“How do you mean?”
“Well, up to now you’ve been slutty. If you really wanted to be a present for Alan you could be a whore.”
By now I was feeling really turned on. My panties were quite wet. I hoped he would not notice.
“So what would I have to do to be a whore?”
“The bondage stuff is popular. You know wrist and ankle things, gags. If you wanted to do it at home you would have to do a bit of DIY, but it is very popular. I’ve got a demonstration set here in the shop so I can explain it to people. Men and women both like it.”
“So what exactly would I have to do?”
“Well, strip down to your undies for a start. Tell you what you do that and I’ll go and get a set to show you.”
Steve left me and went behind the counter. In the meantime I took of everything except the undies. By now I was comfortable letting him see me in them. Comfortable that is except I kept feeling turned on when he looked at me. Steve came back.
“Here you are”
He showed me thick leather bracelets and anklets, as well as a gag-ball.
“Do you want to try it?”
He placed the elastic gag-ball around my neck, and affixed the cuffs around my ankles and wrists. He told me everything was just for looks. I asked what they were used for, and Steve told me to follow him. Steve showed me four rings and four leather straps in the floor by the main area of the store.
I sort of guessed how they would work. I was still thinking about it when he spoke again jolting me out of my thoughts.
“Do you want to try it then? See how it feels?”
This was trickier. It looked very exciting, but did I dare try it. Steve said nothing. I decided that I had now got to the point at which I had to give it a go. I got down on my hands and knees and he clipped the leather wrist and ankle things to the rings. Then he fastened the straps around my limbs so I was held in place. He secured the straps around my forearms and calves, which locked me in the “doggie-style” position.
I was bent completely over in the contraption, but getting even more turned on by what I knew this was used for. Fearing Steve might see my wet panties, I asked to be released. Steve laughed at me, and I was shocked, even frightened a bit. I demanded harshly to be let up next. Steve grabbed the gag-ball and put it in my mouth.
“The ball is to Escort keep stupid bitches like you from complaining!” he shouted as he slapped me on the bottom.
I fought and struggled against my restraints, but it was of no use. I was mumbling and grunting into the ball, but not with much volume. I was totally helpless, I knew it, he knew it, and I was getting very turned on about it. The question was, what was he going to do about it. I suddenly had the vision of him fucking me whilst I could not resist. That did not seem so unattractive at that point. But I was wrong, so wrong.
“You know Deb, I lied about the store closing. This is a porn shop we never close. I just wanted to lure you here so I could have some fun. Watch closely now. Do you see this little sign? Can you read it? Here I will read it for you. It say 50 p to feel tits, one pound to feel cunt, five pounds to view movies in the booths, or ten pounds to fuck the whore. When I flip the “open” sign back on, what do you think the guys coming in are going to want? You came here to find something to dress like a whore. Well now you are going to be one, and a ten pound whore at that. Alan turning 30, huh?. Well I ain’t sending his little whore-wife home to him until she fucks 30. How do you like that?” Alan snarled at me. “Just one more thing cunt, put this on too.”
He slid a leather blind fold over my head.
“You can’t see or speak, but you are damn sure gonna hear!”
with two quick flips of the Velcro my bum was revealed, and my bra was pulled off.
I heard the flick of the light switch, and knew Steve had just turned the sign back on. My bladder let loose and I pissed on the floor I was so frightened. I felt my urine as it ran past my knees. I was helpless. I couldn’t get away or call for help. I hoped nobody would come in. I was praying Steve would give up and just let me go home.
I heard Steve, “Damn I almost forgot to adjust the security cameras for this. I gotta turn the audio sensitivity up also”.
I was on video! No, this couldn’t be happening to me. It was a bad dream I would wake up soon.
I heard the sounds of brakes outside the store. My muscles tightened in fear.
“Holy shit, a tour bus! Jackpot!” Steve exclaimed greedily.
‘He’s only scaring me. He isn’t for real.’ Deb thought. I was so mistaken, as I heard a large group of people enter the store. I tried to count the footsteps, the voices, and the sounds. My mind was racing about how many people were staring at me in this predicament. I heard the movement around me. I could feel their presence, but didn’t know how many. I could feel their eyes as they burned into my naked flesh. I heard the laughter caused at my expense. I was humiliated. I wanted to crawl somewhere and die. I hoped the men would just leave me alone.
I felt a hand on her bottom, and tried to struggle away.
A voice asked, “How much to touch her bum?”
Steve told him it was free. I soon felt an unknown number of hands all over my bum. How could this be happening to me, I had only come here to try on some clothes ?
I made no sound, and did not move a muscle. I thought if I acted like a complete dead-fuck, the men would be not bother me. I would not give them the pleasure of knowing my humiliation. I heard the sound of a coin drop into a bucket.
‘What will it be my tits or my bottom, I thought.
I did not have long to wait. I felt hands on my tits. My heart was pounding. I bit into the ball-gag as tears filled my blindfold. I heard another coin hit the bottom of the bucket. My pussy was stuffed with fingers.
“Hey this whore is wet!” somebody shouted.
No, I was not getting excited by this I tried to convince myself. It was the remnants of my excitement from before. My body might be responding to the physical stimuli, but not my mind. I could never enjoy this humiliation. Like rain pounding an old tin roof, I heard the sounds of handfuls of coins being thrown into the bucket. As I heard the number of coins, my body tensed in preparation of what might happen next. I heard the sounds of what I thought were clothes coming off many, many people. How many people were here? How many men planned on violating my body? How could I ever tell Alan? Would I ever tell Alan, or would I protect him from the knowledge of this night?
I felt the hard thrust of an engorged cock slam into my unprepared cunt. I thrashed about fighting the best I could against the invading prick behind me.
“Ride her, cowboy!” I heard.
It was followed by the another guy adding, “I bet he can’t last the eight seconds!”
The room was filled with cheers and roars of encouragement. I remembered the video being made of me. My thoughts ran through my raped mind, ‘What I must look like. Here I am in the centre of a room full of guys getting fucked. Are the guys stroking cocks getting ready for me? How do I look?… How do I look???… Why the fuck I am I worried about how I look. Oh my God, I must look like a filthy whore! This must be a scene of complete depravation. Wow this guy has a big cock. Oh shit, he is hitting my clit. Damn it, fight it, fight it, fight it…
My orgasm screamed through me no matter how bad I tried to fight it. I did admit to myself it felt good. Still I wanted it to stop. I wanted this over. The guy fucking me felt my pussy muscles clench his pounding cock. He knew I an orgasmed and made sure to do the same inside me. I felt him begin to pulsate in my cunt drenching my walls with cum. He withdrew from me. I felt his semen leak out of my swollen pussy, and run down over my clit. I felt suddenly empty. I wanted to get up, but somewhere in the recesses of my mind I wanted another cock in me. I got another until it came. Followed by another, and another. I came also with every cock that invaded my abused pussy. I leaked cum continually. I heard them shouting out their respective number as they came in me, 5, 6, 7.…..15, 16, and 17. I was so lost in my feelings I lost track of the men.
‘Was it fifteen already? Damn it, it is half way over!’ I thought as I screamed another orgasm in to the ball-gag. I no longer grunted in to the ball with rage, I moaned into it in lust.
Steve saw this, and removed the ball-gag from my mouth.
As soon as I could move my jaw I screamed, “Fuck me, pound me, shove a cock in me, cum in me, do your little bound whore!!!”
Number eighteen came up behind me, scooped some of the leaking cum from my pussy, and smeared it around my arsehole. He pressed the head of his cock to my virgin arse. I was fearful, but told him to do it. I wanted to feel a cock in my arse. He pressed harder and the head popped in. He slowly began to work in and out of my arse until he was fully in me. He fucked me quick depositing a load of his cum in my arse. One man slid between my legs and pulled me down to his cock. After his cock was buried in me, another guy came from behind taking my arse again. I was double-penetrated. I felt absolutely no pain. I was lost again in a sea of ecstasy screaming vulgarities about what I wanted done to me.
“What number are we on? How many more are left? I don’t want this to end.” I said from behind the blindfold.
I heard a woman’s voice comment about how much I loved My dicking.
“I wonder what else she likes?”
I felt the sticky touch of the girl’s anus to my nose. I envisioned the girl must have crawled backwards to my face on her hands and knees. Without being asked I stuck my tongue out finding the girls pussy. I was sucking and licking away at this unknown girl. I loved the taste and was trying to make this girl cum. I wanted to make her cum. I needed to know I made her cum. I kept eating this girl as Escort Bayan man after man came up behind and fucked me. One guy would do my arse and cum, and the next would do my pussy and cum. I had so much cum in me I could hold no more. The girl I was eating came, and as quickly as it started everything ended. I felt a bit disappointed, but couldn’t figure out why. I heard Steve thank everybody for cumming over tonight.
He told somebody, “Here is a copy of the tape with sound like you asked for.”
Son-of-a-bitch, I forgot about the tape! He asked the recipient of the tape to get him something off the wall. I felt the coldness of hard rubber against my arse. This object was pushed into my arse until it popped in and lodged there. I felt the same at my pussy. I felt stuffed, but oddly it felt nice.
Steve unlocked my arms and legs. I stood on wobbly legs trying hard to keep my balance. Steve removed the cuffs, anklets, ball-gag, and blind fold. I squinted at the newly discovered light.
Steve told me my record for the night. I had 31 guys and 1 woman. It would have been the 30 as planned, but Steve got so turned on he need a shot at me. I had 21 loads shot into my pussy and 10 shot into my ravaged arse.
Steve told me, “Before you even mention the word “rape” don’t forget I have the video. It definitely shows you having the time of your life. Don’t try going to the police because if I am charged just remember 12 people on the jury will see and hear you acting like the slut you are. You will do everything I say or the tape will become part of the store’s rentals, I will put it on the Internet for people to download. I will send copies to your parents. Do you understand me? I am not fucking around here.“
“What do I have to do?“ I asked almost hoping it was more sex.
Steve responded, “What you have in your cum filled arse and pussy are plugs. You will leave them inside you. You will not take them out until you get home. Let me rephrase that. You will not take them out until you get home and climb under the covers with Alan. He should be asleep at this hour. You will turn the light on before you get in bed. You will wake him, and tell him you want to have sex. Tell him to play with his cock to get it hard. As he plays with his cock, you may then reach down between you legs and remove the plugs. Do you understand the instruction I just gave you whore?
“Yes”, I said with a little bit of fear. What if Alan found out what I was doing or had done?
“You will be followed home. You will be watched as you get in bed. Don’t fuck this up. I will play your fuck video if you do. Do not get dressed. You will drive home and walk to your house naked.”
I did everything requested of me. I lay there next to Alan as he stroked his dick. I reached down and touched the rubber bases sticking out of me. I cautiously worked the plug out of my pussy. As the plug slid free, I felt the warm rush of trapped semen flow from my pussy and over my leg. Removing the plug from my arse had the same results. I laid in my bed covered in a sea of cum. How could I hide this? My sheets were soaked under my arse. Alan told me to straddle him. As I raised, my muscles tightened in my abdomen causing all that was left inside me to push out and stream down my thighs. ‘Alan was bound to notice this mess!’ I told myself. I began to ride on Alan’s dick and noticed Alan was unaware of my sloppy condition. Alan pushed the remote control and soon the room was filled with a very familiar sound. It was the sound of me. It was the sound of me being fucked just a while before. My head spun to see the television. I was met with the sight of my performance. I looked at Alan.
Alan smiled saying, “I was first tonight, and now I want to be last.”
He ran his hand my cum soaked thighs and massaged the mess into my tits.
And from that day my life changed.
It was not long before I was wearing the maid’s outfit most of the day at home. Alan loved it of course and was soon fucking me everywhere in the house. I was safe nowhere, and I loved it.
Then the thing took a new direction. It all started one morning when I was dusting the lounge. The doorbell went, and Alan just told me to answer it.
“What dressed like this?”
“Yes, you haven’t forgotten that you are a whore!”
I hadn’t forgotten, but I never expected to go through it again. I went to the door and opened it.
The postman was standing there. He could not take his eyes off me. I suppose I was a bit of a sight revealing quite a lot.
“Registered letter requires a signature, love,” he said, smirking.
“You had better come in for the Master to sign for it then,” I replied.
I led him into the lounge, where Alan signed for the letter. Then he seemed to notice the attention that the postman was giving me.
“Would you like to fuck her?”
That took us both by surprise.
“Would you like to fuck her?” he repeated.
“Well, yes,” said the postman.
“Up the fanny or up the arse?”
“Well, up the arse for preference.”
“Free, or tied down?”
“Tied down, if I have the choice.”
“Done. Debra, get the ropes.”
I went out of the room and fetched the rope he normally tied me up with. By the time I came back my imagination was working overtime. I was really wet at the thought of being fucked by the postman. What a lucky man he was, and how lucky was I.
I returned with the ropes, which I handed to Alan. Then I adopted my usual position over the dining room table. In seconds I was tied down and unable to move without my panties. Alan stripped down my top and pulled up my skirt.
“There is some Vaseline on the side there, fuck away. She is only the hired help, she’ll not complain.”
Well, a few seconds later the postman stuck two fingers up my arse and worked the lubricant into my arse. A moment later was all it took for him to replace the fingers with his prick. He fucked my arse something shocking. I was so excited that I orgasmed about three times. He only came once but he was happy with that. He finished and pulled out of me.
“That was fantastic. What should I do with her now?”
“Nothing,” said Alan. After watching you I think I will fuck it too. Let yourself out.”
The postman left whilst Alan took up his position and fucked my arse again. It was too much and I orgasmed again. I really was becoming a real slut, and I loved it.
He finished, but did not release me till he had stuck a butt plug up my arse. I knew what was coming next, because up till now he had only shared me with Steve. He untied the ropes.
“Go to Steve and let him finish you off. You may take the car, but do not wear anything else.
I stood up and with the slightly unstable step you get with a butt plug up your arse moved out to the car. I drove to Steve’s shop, parked and went in. He had two customers with him, a man and his girlfriend.
As soon as I got into the shop Steve knew just by looking at me why I was there. He continued his sales talk.
“Why would you believe that this little girl here was shy and retiring. Now after wearing my clothing and using some of my sex aids [30 men actually I thought] she is a real goer. A real whore. She will do anything. In fact her husband has just sent her here for me to fuck her. Is that true,” he said, eventually turning to me.
“Yes, Sir” I said.
“You look plugged, is it fanny or arse?”
“As usual or is it a special occasion?”
“Special occasion, I had to let the postman fuck me.”
“Well, blow me,” said Steve. “And Alan wants me to finish you off.”
He paused. Then he spoke to the man.
“Say, do you want to fuck her arse first?”
He looked nervous and after looking at his Bayan Escort girlfriend declined. Steve didn’t mind, he just upended me over the counter, pulled the plug and stuck his prick up my arse. Then he fucked me till he came, then gently replaced the plug.
I behaved as if it was the most natural thing in the world. I stood up and smoothed down the dress. The man looked interested, the girl slightly shocked.
“Now where was I?” said Steve. “Ah yes, how about it if your girlfriend tries on some of the outfits, to see how she feels about it?”
At first reluctant she agreed to try some on. I was deputed to go and help her. What she thought of that I don’t know.
We went into the changing room Steve had put in since my escapade. It was unusual in that it was round. It also had some other features that were not exactly standard. For instance, everything taking place within it was videoed, from several angles. All of which could be viewed from within the shop. Thus I knew Steve and the boyfriend would be watching everything we did. It also had some lights around a mirror. They appeared to be normal, if unstable, because they would appear to just go out for some reason. However, if you were in the know you would realise that they did in fact indicate how many people were watching, paying, of course. There was even a ‘go’ light to tell me to try to get any visitor to get really randy and excited. I had become very skilled at getting women really excited so we could all have fun.
On this occasion when we got into the room the light sequence told me that only two were watching, but as I started, that went up the three. Good!
The first outfit she tried on was a school uniform. I mean how staid can you get! Or how corny. Cindy, for a Cindy I had, was quite shy when I asked her to take off her top clothes to try on the blouse, and skirt, and tie. When I discovered she had on tights I just had to get rid of them so she could use the short white socks. Men just love them I told her.
We spent some time playing with the buttons of the blouse and adjusting the length of the skirt, and eventually playing with the possibilities of bondage with the tie.
Cindy began to get less inhibited with me, and unknown to her the now five voyeurs.
By the time we had explored the possibilities of the schoolgirl look Cindy was more relaxed. As such I was then able to help her with her clothing. She had got used to me doing the tie thing so when I helped her with the ‘sexy nurse’ outfit it was only natural that I should help again. And in helping, to accidentally touch her occasionally.
By the time I had finished adjusting her uniform her nipples were hard and I was convinced her panties wet, though we had yet to get that far.
Next on the trials was the sexy maid uniform that I was wearing. Cindy and our eight admirers were no doubt quite excited by now. I know that I was. I could see where this was going and knew that when the magic number reached ten, Steve would want to move on to more exciting things. Exciting for all of us, that is.
Well, did we have fun with the maid’s uniform! We tried everything, breasts in, breasts out. Skirt up, skirt down and a few bondage things with the tie from the previous set. Cindy was now well away and almost ready for anything. She undoubtedly felt as horny as I did, and she was beginning to express it too. She was even pushing back against me as I ‘accidentally’ pushed against her, and yes her panties were wet. I had seen them. Suddenly the light sequence changed. We had the required numbers! They changed again, we had a go!
“Of course, the really sexy thing is the bondage set, but I suppose you are too staid for that.”
“What is that?”
“Well, sort of tame bondage gear really. Some ties, some leather, that sort of thing.”
“I think I could manage that, especially if you showed me how,” she said.
“Okay,” I said, what could be easier.
Accordingly in short order she had stripped totally naked, quite a sight I am sure for our guests. I stripped too, not to be outdone by this novice.
I handed her a pair of leather panties. She looked puzzled.
“They do not have a crotch.”
“Why is that?”
“Put them on and you will find out.”
She put them on. Then I handed her the bra which had two holes for the nipples. She tried to put it on.
“This seems very tight.”
“It is intended to be. Let me help.”
I went behind her and when she had centred her breasts in the cups I pulled hard and did the bra up. Naturally it was too tight, this was to force the nipples through the holes and make them stand out. I went round to the front again. It had certainly worked.
Cindy seemed quite overwhelmed.
“Wow, I don’t think my nipples have ever been this hard.”
I laughed.
“Wait till you see the rest of it.”
I clipped two straps to her bra, one on each side just at the side of the breasts. Then I repeated this on the sides of her panties.
“What are those for?”
“Just wait and I will demonstrate everything. In the meantime, just trust me.”
She subsided. I then repeated the dressing for me, naturally she had to help me, and seemed to be enjoying it. She didn’t even query the clips on the bra and panties.
Turning away from her for a moment I took a double ended strap on dildo and slid one end into my fanny. As I was so aroused it went in quite easily, no surprise to me there then.
I turned to face her, she took one look at the size of it and paled.
“No, that is not for me. I don’t do that lesbian stuff.”
I quickly approached her and taking her head in my hands I kissed her directly on the mouth. She started to fight, then hesitated as she enjoyed the feel of my lips on hers.
Whilst she was so occupied I clipped the bras together, then the panties. This meant we wear in intimate contact at the hip and breast. She seemed to find it exciting. I stepped forwards even more and stuck the dildo between her legs bringing it up so it pressed against her fanny lips.
Her immediate, expected reaction was to open her mouth in surprise. This gave me the opportunity to stick my tongue inside and give her a really good snog. This in turn made her respond more till I could safely dip my legs to get the end of the dildo into her fanny. One upward thrust and she was mine. She hung there not fighting but just enjoying as I fucked her with the dildo. She was really into it, and I was well away too when I saw Steve come in with the boyfriend, and others. The boyfriend came around behind me and I just knew that he was going to give my arse a good fucking like he had wanted to before when his girlfriend had objected. This meant, of course, that Steve had free reign on Cindy. Somehow I didn’t think she would object much, at least not when she had really had a good seeing to.
Sure enough the boyfriend soon had his prick balls deep into my arse. As he fucked me, I fucked her. Steve took his time but it was obvious from her reactions when he was up her arse. And so we fucked each other, only when Steve and the boyfriend were finished others took their place forcing us into further fucking and orgasms.
It had to end and eventually they all pulled out and Steve unclipped us and let us separate. We were both too weak to stand and had to be helped to two chairs. The others left, leaving only Steve and the boyfriend behind. We sank gratefully into the seats.
When she had recovered she and the boyfriend bought everything we had been looking at and left in a great hurry, presumably to start again. That left me and Steve.
“You have come on quite a bit since you visited me before.”
“Do you fancy another go?”
“What like the first time?”
“Okay, but let’s leave of the gag this time.”
And so it started all over again. But this time I wanted everything that happened to me.

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